Picking up Mr. Maven’s share, and a status update

October 4, 2011 at 6:59 pm (Being Frugal, mr. maven)

What’s up with debtmaven? Not much. Same ol’ same ol’. Still chugging away paying off debt. I have slowed down some. The lack of employment (since March ’10) caught up with mr. maven and I’m now covering his portion of the rent fully (he had been paying $400 towards our $900 rent). Now I’m down $400/month on rent, which I now have to cover. That has certainly put a dent in  my debt payoff efforts, but I’m trying to at least put $500/month towards my SBA loan debt, both the principal and interest (interest is down to about $70/month now, so $430 is pure principal, which becomes more every month, yeah!). I pay the minimum on my car loan, $253, and will continue to do so until my SBA loan is gone. Why? The SBA loan is at 5% interest, and the car loan is at 3.99% interest. Not only is it a higher rate, but I detest big banks, and want to destroy my relationship with Wells Fargo – it’s a bad relationship that must end. They don’t deserve any more of my money!!! My car loan is with my local credit union, by the way.

What else has me fully paying for rent done? Well, I have become much more stringent about buying less. I pull out the “I can’t afford x until I get paid next week” card all the time. We eat out even less than before. I think my eat out budget is less than $100/month now. Also, any extraneous expenses fall on him and I no longer offer to pay half after the fact (when he brings it up to gripe at the expense). If we are out of something, he has often been going to the store and buying the $20 of groceries, which I consider budget busters to the nth degree! Also, we recently had a big vet scare with one of our kittens. He got a case of struvite crystals in his urine (making it hard to urinate, possibly life threatening), requiring 2 vet visits, IV, brand new food (and a total diet change for the rest of his life). Plus both cats were due for 2 vaccines – mr. maven ended up picking up the tab, to the tune of $400+. I didn’t pay any of that. I think that’s far, as he owes me a lot more for utilities/bills that he pays no share of, and the lack of rent. I have become much more resistant to picking up any groceries on my own, as I never get reimbursed afterwards. If I want it for me, I get it (often if it’s for lunch at work only though). If I want to buy groceries, he has to come with me. I refuse to go on my own. Lesson learned from the last 2 years of his unemployment. I’ve gotten over having my heart set on a certain food item for dinner; now I put up with whatever is at home. I just do without or scrounge out of the fridge. It’s odd, but I feel like I’m really being more careful with my food purchases now, because of that, almost as if I’m living hand to mouth, while I get paid $53K a year!

Money is still a big issue in our household. I basically gave up discussing it and trying to be fair and equitable (with my large paycheck with which I am trying to pay off debt, and his lack of funds and his refusal to pay anything beyond half of the big food groceries). It causes stress, and while I’m in my relationship with him, that’s how it’s turned out to be. Some days it’s intensely more frustrating than others, but I”m dealing with it. I try to keep front and center what it means to him to support him, but other days it’s a lot more of a challenge for me to keep a good attitude about it. Am I bitter? Yes. Is it going to change? Probably not. At least not until he gets a job, and that is becoming more of an issue as time goes on – as he approaches the 2nd anniversary of his unemployment, he is going to have to get some kindo f employment, even if it’s only $12/hr!! I can either be frustrated and fight, or accept that this is the status quo and move beyond it to appreciate the other reasons I enjoy being in a relationship with him.

I’ve been having some issues with going to the gym and soreness in abused muscles, and have been seeing a physical therapist. That’s a whole bunch of $20/visit copays. So far I’ve done 4, and am trying to minimize the expense. This shouldn’t last for more than 2-3 months, I hope. I haven’t done any trips anywhere, and have no plans except for a drive out to North Dakota during thanksgiving, to visit his family (and he really wants me to go). He’ll need to pay at least 50% if not more of the expense.  Other than that, I’ve been in high frugal mode. No new clothes, only steeply discounted clothes from the department store, or all from the thrift store. I’ve been trying to drive less, and consume less gas. I question every purchase, making sure I want it for several days before I give in (and that has saved me from several purchases!).

So I’m putting up with my situation, even while I’m not totally happy with it. I’m paying a little less towards debt than I otherwise would, but I’m trying to buy less, be more careful with my spending, and just be consistent and plan, plan, plan. It will get better. It has to. If it doesn’t? Well, I have a good job, it pays well, and I will just pay off my debts as much as I can. It might take a little longer, but I’m making good headway – see my stats on the right. I’m now up to 49% paid off, almost on the other side!

Take care all…debtmaven out.


1 Comment

  1. Louise said,

    nice to see your update, gosh I can relate to a lot of what you’ve written here! It took my DH about 4 years to get a full time job after being laid off, he got casual work here and there and then part time. It is a lot of stress when you’re the only income earner and trying to get out of debt, but it sounds like your making steady progress. hang in there!

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